My Letter to God

Hey,
     
           A while ago, I fully realized that the only thing that can wholly accept you-no matter what-is a non- breathing notebook. It's a either a notebook you can be completely honest with or God.
   God is obviously so much more than a notebook or a person, even. And ever since I saw the movie "Letters to God" I started addressing all my little diary entries to God. This has become my own private account of all the things I have to say to God (at the particular moment in which I am writing the entry, of course)

So here's the most recent one :

         Dear God,                                                                                   19/3/2013
                            hey. HEY. : D.

Today, You showed me a bit about the kind of nature You want me to CHOOSE to have- That of a child. A child does not hear / see what the world has to say/show. He/she is filled with obedience for the MASTER CREATOR, with eyes and ears only for Him <3. He/she does not trust in the external appearances of another person, but puts his/ her faith in their heart.
 Lately You've also showed that no matter how "popular" or "unpopular" I think a person is - I need to treat them right, show them Love for their heart. And not go out of my way to impress (and hence idolize)anyone, unless God Himself (You) leads me to.
It's strange how insanely simple it is. KEEP YOUR EYES FIXED ON CHRIST. Yet, sometimes it is hard to comprehend. That's when I realize that it's Your divine wisdom provided by the AWESOME Holy Spirit that helps me comprehend it. I ain't doin' it on my own. It's only with the Spirit that I can Love You right.  And Your Grace gives me enough STRENGTH AND WISDOM for each day :). And although some situations - I don't want to go through, You get me through it :). Like I read in the Bible today (was it Paul's letter to the Corinthians?*) where he describes the foolishness of the boasting he was about to do - and did anyway.
 He boasted over his weaknesses. Because, it was through his weaknesses that God was strongest/ most powerful. Hence, through his weaknesses, he is strong. That's awesome.
He also mentioned that because of this-he is content with his weaknesses, shortcomings, failures, troubles, persecutions and all that nasty stuff. Can  You believe how amazing that is? ( Yea, I suppose You can :) Lord!) - [Like . Yes!! I messed this up - Now God can work through me . Yeah, I suppose it does sound a little foolish.]
I need to be content too, right? And REJOICE no matter what. What a crazy notion! And yet it's what is expected of me. And why should I NOT REJOICE?! You make me HAPPIEST. Every happy moment, person/ thing that has made me happy - has made me happy because You worked through them. Help me not forget that Lord.
 I find myself getting excited over the tiniest things, Lord. Like picking out new, clean sheets for my bed from the cupboard. I mean, I am grateful that I have a bed and clean sheets and that I get to pick them and spread them and sleep in them. And it's all Thanks to You, oh Lord.
I've never felt this HAPPY in my life.
Love
Your little girl
Jeff

[* 2Corinthians 12: 7-11]

Not all of my entries are this - happy? But I have to say that nothing matches the amazing feeling that comes from just putting it out there for Him to see.

And now I've put it out here , for whoever else reads this page to see - which honestly, is a little disturbing because...you know, it's private stuff. However I also feel lucky, that I get to share what God's Love has done for me in such a public way.

A friend of mine and I were talking one day, of all the different kinds of things that He did for the people we knew and how He loves us all sort of differently- the way each of us needed to be Loved. It's kind of like if you have a friend, who knows and loves a lot of different people, and obviously this friend's relationship with each and every one of those people is going to be different (custom-made to suit the individuals in that particular relationship).

What I'm trying to point out from this analogy is that, what I have to say to God, is probably different from what you might have to say to Him. And my question is ,
 if you wrote a Letter to God? ( or say, a text message - if you're not the letter writing type) what would it say?

 

Love
 Jeff

the light at the end of the tunnel

12/09/08    Friday

 Every time I try to start studying, my mind wanders. I wish it wouldn't @.@ about everything and anything. noohh! It always happens for this subject. I wish it wouldn't ... I studied so little...wasted a lot of time...It's so NOT GOOD...
        
                          You know .. *serious tone* it's hard to believe but I haven't said this or written it. Maybe because I was trying to forget. But I don't want to. So here it is : I miss my mom.
   No, not the pain-suffering-crying sick her.. Pre-that.. The happy-jovial-always-there-for-me-for-ever-with-no-doubt-mistake-correcting-mom. I mean, think about it.. It's not just about the fact that the entire order of the universe changed. I mean I have a mom. Period.
Right?
Wrong..But Why???
 Ok , I do know why..But still, why couldn't she have stayed healthy forever?? The world just lost a tinge of pink -.-. I know, she's happy. But it's soo confusing. Why can't simple happiness last forever... WHY?Well there... I miss her hugs..the fact that whatever happened I had a back-up plan. Will I ever see her again (yes??) mmmhmm..I can't talk to anyone about this right now. I don't trust anyone as much (or/and) I don't want to make them feel uncomfortable--------Well there I broke the record of not saying anything about it . Maybe I'll talk about it more later.
                                                 Love  
                                                      Jef.

So, this is hard to talk about.
Truth is , that I wrote about my mother - I think once, after this particular entry in my diary/journal. And that was more than 3 years after this one.
But oddly, my feelings remain nearly the same. I'm always going to miss her, and that's just how things are.
   It's so much easier to not talk about things that bother us. It's so much easier to just let it get behind you, and pretend that it's not there.
But then, I've learnt the hard way that, though it's important to look at the brighter side of things - it's better to let other people know what you're struggling with.
 And who knows, maybe somewhere, somehow, someone, struggling will see that there will be a light at the end of the tunnel, that billions of people have already found - and that it's just a matter of time before you get there as well.
    I know I don't speak new words. These things you've probably heard of already - no matter what, don't let go of hope - and you're probably wanting to kick me for repeating this-but the reason people repeat it so often is because there is truth behind it. And if this hasn't gotten through to you, then I hope and pray that you'll learn it in your own way.

 No matter how bad the situation is ( or how bad you've made it ) things will change. You will remember what it's like to be alive again, if you choose to believe it.

We all have our battles, and I know mine doesn't even COMPARE to some of the things that people have had to deal with in their life ( and continue to deal with right now). Atleast I've had the priveledge of knowing and growing with my mother for 13 years.

I don't know what your source of strength is,or what keeps you going. For me - God is the only one who sticks with me through everything (and I do mean EVERYTHING.) He is the only reason, I'm alive and well today. Because I mess up way too much , to make it on my own.

 

 

Love

Jeff

Avoid fear?

      “And avoid fear, for fear is the consequence of every lie.”
                                     Fyodor Dostoyevsky - The Brothers Karamazov



       Fear is a Lie.     It's hard to believe-but it's the truth.

Here is a little story: At the beginning of this semester in college, in English Class, we had to do a bunch of things like "Public Speaking" , "Group Discussion" and other things. And quite simply put, I was afraid - of the teacher, of my class mates, of the situation, of failing the class (yeah well you get the picture.) Fear has a way of distorting the size of the thing you're afraid of, in your head.
This fear of my teacher grew well out of hand, and soon I couldn't face her without my heart thumping uncontrollably. I remember my first speech being "The Fear of Public Speaking", simply because that is all that filled my head and there wasn't any room for anything else. 
 One of my friends from school, Lydia, who is also my class mate for this class-stood out with her excellent (and hence inspirational) speeches, simply because of her lack of fear.
Of late, however, I've come to know and love this teacher. I'm glad she sort of pushed us all onto the edges of our comfort zones and right over it. Because how else are we going to learn to fly? 

What I've learnt is this : Fear is just a consequence of a lie. We actually have no reason to be afraid. 

Open up your mind a little bit and watch this amazing video. 

  Once again, I'm putting this on this page, to remain as a reminder for me- that Life is Beautiful when you believe the Truth, so don't let fear confuse you. 

        "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified and do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you where ever you go."

                                                                                            - Joshua 1: 9

 Love
   -Jeff  

Coraline( Film Review)

      I remember looking at the trailer of this film and wondering how odd the animated characters looked like. But now, after watching it, I'd describe the animation as a "refreshing change to what I'm used to".
    This story is about an unhappy young girl-Coraline, who moves away from her home town- into an 150 year old house, with busy parents who seem to have no time for her. She meets new people, but can seem to make a real connection with nobody. Nobody except, a little boy who (along with his black cat) has taken to stalking her. He gives her a doll which looks very similar to herself( and which he has stolen from his grandmother - who coincidentally, is the owner of the house Coraline's family now lives in).

   While looking around the House, she discovers, a small door on a wall in her house and immediately gets it open with her mothers help, only to find a brick wall on the other side. However at night time , she finds that the door leads to an alternate universe-type-place. Here, her mother is attentive, loving and cooks all the things she loves and oh wait...has buttons in the place of eyes.

     This new world, seems to have everything she could have hoped for. People who care, neighbours who are amazing. However she is able to return to her reality in the morning, when she wakes up - and is irked at how unsatisfying and imperfect everything around her is. Repeatedly she is warned not to go back in through the little door, but the other world is too enticing. 

All is not well for long however,and she realises this when her "other mother" puts before her the option of staying in the other world forever if only she'll let her eyes be sewn over by buttons. This suddenly jolts her back to her senses, and she realizes that her imperfect reality if Far Far better than this "so-called-perfect-yet-fake-other-world". 

It turns out the other world is not really a "world" but just her house and a little bit surrounding it-or at least the enamoured version of it. What follows is her fight back to reality and how she begins to see things differently 

   The Characters are extremely well portrayed and the message is loud and clear. Things are not always the way they seem. What we get is what's best for us, and when we go after something that we think is better (or what appears to be perfect for us)-it usually isn't.

 We find that the "other thing" is far worse than what we first had. Because what we've got is the Best- it's the way we look at it that needs to change. 

P.S. I am no professional " Film Reviewer" and this post is about putting across, what I learnt from this piece of work. SO, there are a lot of details that I've left out. Starting with : The film is based on a Book by "Neil Gaiman", of the same name. Check out more such details : here :D. 

P.P.S. Oh and I take no credit for any of the pictures used here :DThanks:)

Love

- Jeff 

Why Serve? :D

Hey :),
 Here is something I wrote for an English Test. It roughly and briefly explains why I think everybody should be involved in some form of positive "service"(and by that I mean, helping others out, keeping only the uplifting of others in mind - for absolutely no personal benefit.)

     Positive change in society begins only when its smallest and most important units - its individuals - begin to think and act positively. Citizens involved in service begin to understand that the world is much bigger than themselves and their problems. They also begin to obtain a different perspective- one which helps them see that their lives needn't be wasted, but can be full of joy and be used to change other lives as well. By this, both the one who is served and the one who serves is benefited. If we want our county to change, we need to see that we are an integral part of it, and by our actions show those around us, through service. 

I know I've said "for absolutely no personal benefit" and then , in the passage mentioned that " by this, both the one who is served and the one who serves if benefited" - and it sounds contradictory, but - it isn't . What I mean is personal benefit will roll in once we focus on other things, besides ourselves. 
    
   I'm not saying that I am an somebody who is an extremely experienced person in the field of Service. 
Au contraire , I am aware of how much I painfully lack in giving back to the society. But I will strive, to maybe become that person someday. One of the main reasons for my posting this here, on this blog, is so that it remains (for however long this page may exist) as a reminder for myself. 

 // Have been Missing In Action for several months mostly because I have been focussing on growth and taking a break-in general. I'm SUPER EXCITED to be writing here again :). Thanks for reading. God Bless :D
Love
-jeff

Ducks,Fishes And Rain .

Things I've learnt at the end of the 1st year in College :

1. With every project/ assignment/ test- it's better to be prepared early. No matter how thrilling it is to do , last minute. 
2. Friends matter. People matter. If ever you get vulnerable-these people you have around you can make or break you. So treat yourself with respect and pick out people who actually care about you.
   
3. I have some pretty amazing friends.
   
4. If something or some form of activity looks interesting-Go for it, try it out. Chances are v.high that you'll regret it later if you don't.
    
5. At the same time, you have to remember that you can't do EVERYTHING. Prioritize and don't be discouraged.
   
6. Also, this is the time for experimenting, you never know how much you like truly like doing something until you try. Follow your heart!
   
7. The quality of your notes is directly proportional to how much attention you're paying in class, and how fast you can write.
   
8. It is not okay to scribble all over the class room boards, just because they have all kinds of coloured chalk, in between classes. At least when the teacher is nearby.
   
9. To keep the Faith. And to Pray.
   
10. To Love.
    
    It's been a pretty packed year, and we've all done a lot of learning. We've also become people we weren't at the beginning of it. 

HOW WEIRD IS THAT. AND COOL TOO. 

 MORE COOL THAN WEIRD.

So here's to more such amazing, Blessed years for EVERYBODY :D yay! 

love

 -jeff