Thank You

Ohoy reader! :D

This post is dedicated to a friend who goes by the name Deepika.

  You've been the push that God used that I needed - when I completely stopped - concerning both this blog and Life in general.

 Thank God for you, 'cause you've been there for me, whether you know it or not, when I gave up - and I'm grateful for all of the time we've gotten together and continue to be blessed with :)

Love
Jeff
 

Love.

Hello ! :)

 

Over a year back I wrote a simple post called : Love? and the funny thing is- from when the post was written- up until now - it continues to remain the single most-read post in this blog.

 I've wondered why that is-but it's pretty clear why actually.

 

I've realized over time, that we as 'human beings' - we were pretty much made for this single purpose - to Love.

 

I take absolutely no credits for this fabulous picture!

 

Love is a choice. Whether we choose to love or not (a difficult choice to some, including me) is what it boils down to.

Pain, hurt, the past are all excuses we use to build a wall around us. This wall protects us from further hurt & pain - but it also prevents us from experiencing any Light.

This lesson is a hard pill to swallow, 'cause Love Hurts.

It's hard and

it appears insane.

But

even though love hurts - it's better to love, hurt and lose than to never love at all.

Needing somebody is not always a pleasant position to be in - but we're often there and there's no need to be ashamed about it ( because so is everybody else! )

I've been in a place where I've blocked out people from myself because I don't want to get hurt .. and so have you (possibly).

 

Although initially I felt this place to be comfortable and away from all the hurt- eventually I understood that I'm not going any place good from that place.

But in that place I learnt that Loving myself first is important for people like me and then I saw that no matter who hurts me(for whatever reason) I'll always have and love me!  

 

 

 

Loving somebody(after you love yourself first) is to be vulnerable.

Loving somebody involves swallowing our pride and not holding onto false humility - but to actually be humble enough to give yourself to somebody.
I've confused "Loving" with "Idolizing" in the past - and this is when we overdo it, by near worshipping somebody.

Worshipping a person is not equivalent to loving them. 

Loving yourself first will better enable you to simply love somebody - including their flaws and uglies, because you've done that to you too.. instead of blindly assuming that a person is faultless and hence needs to worshipped all the time.
That is never what a person needs.

 

At one point of time, not too long ago,

I tried to hide my pain, my weakness, my shame, my fears, my insecurities, my idols and all of the ugliest parts of who I am- however, these things are temporary.

You can't hold on to these things forever without allowing them to change who you really are-into someone ugly.

But if you let them go by choosing to be open about them (to people you trust) and give yourself a chance to discover that there's more to life - there is a high chance that you'll find exactly what you've been needing to find.

 

 

I'd be thrilled to know more about what your views are.

 

Love

 Jeff

 

 

 

 

My Life Story. C.

Hello there,

I've been having tests at college for the past 5 days, so I chose to put NaBloPoMo on pause for a while (the last test is on Monday)
It's a little late, but here's the third part to the four part series of "My Life Story" which I've been putting up here.
[ Here's Part 1 and Part 2 ]

                                                                                ..

 

..And Suddenly I was going to the camp with a lot of girls in a van with my teacher.
We reached the site earlier than the J team , or anybody else and sat under the moonlight on the sand, outside the camp site and talked. I remembering feeling very much at peace with everything - which was new to me.
The members of J team came in, and the camp began with a singing session inside. I felt comforted by God's presence somehow, for I now recognized that Voice inside my head as God's and I sighed a happy sigh and said to God that I was ready for life with just Him and me. 

  

For some reason – I soon became sort of uncomfortable in my own skin. Later that night, one of the camp counsellors spoke with me privately and asked me,"So, I hear you don't have a mother at home.. How does that feel?"
I welled up immediately, but the tears didn’t fall, and didn't say a word. I was 17 then, but some things feel the same no matter how much you age.
She asked me how my relationship with God was. I replied with a shrug.
She smiled and asked me how my relationship with ‘Sa’ was,
"Good!" I replied with a broad smile.
"Good! right?" she mirrored me and then said - that my relationship with God could be the same. But the only thing  that blocked me from a relationship with Him, were my own sins. I just listened, nodded and don't remember saying a single word.
Somebody interrupted us, and I quietly walked back to the "Session" at camp that was going on currently.
As I walked into the room with wide eyes . I heard the words "Will you please stop Hating Yourself?"
I held back the tears as I opened the door to where all the other kids(campers) were and the Voice said "Look around and tell me : Do you see anybody else here who hates themselves?"
I turned and realized that I was surrounded by a bunch of lightly laughing, confident people.
"no."
I replied quietly.
After a deep and Loving conversation with God, I came to see that I needed to stop hating myself and not just that - but to start loving myself as well.

The Impact was huge.

 

Inside of me any way, and maybe nobody else noticed, but ever since then I've begun feeling super comfortable in my own skin.

In the months that followed-I knew what I believed in by then, but I wasn't very strong in it. And even now I continue to struggle to hold on to what I believe in, sometimes.
Although I’d love to hide this part,  I believe it’s time to come clean. Without getting too much into the details, all I can say here is that I got close to somebody.

I used to believe that idols/ false gods were just statues that people worshipped. But I’ve gotten to see that our truest idols are simply anything or anybody – money, fame, another person etc. – that we love with all of us,  in the place of God.

I’ve come to see that any obsession/ addiction can become my "idol".

I hurt myself and I hurt others who meant well for me and there’s no point in hiding that.

 

At that time of idolizing this one person, I struggled to remember why I liked God so much, or why I wanted to go to Heaven.

I vaguely remembered something about longing to be with HIM (God), more than anything else - but it didn't seem relevant any more.

I ignored Him, and thought something along the lines of "I don't remember why I wanted God more than anything else. My life is obviously better without Him." Ohh, how wrong I was..

Those were pretty dark days for me, I couldn’t even think straight. I remembered how my life was before and wished I could have that back. But I'd been blinded by the lies that I believed in.

    God didn't give up on me though.
College was now reopening for my second year, and once againGod found me.

He revealed to me that the reason Christ died on the Cross was because of my sins, and because He loved me, and would I Please accept His Grace again?
This seemed unreal.

Who would want to take back somebody who rejected you? Who would want to cherish something that wasn't worth it?
And that would be my God. 

 

..
 

Heyo, you've successfully reached the end of the Third part out of the Four! :)

Although I could really relate to 'Warrior' by Demi Lovato (the video above), this is a song that I've been also relating to a lot (it's called 'Safe' by Britt Nicole) :
         

 

 Love
 Jeff

 
 

 

Stepping out of your comfort Zone

Hi,

 

*sheepish grin* + wave.

 

Fear.

It's more crippling than physical disability.

I've talked about it in the past, ( Avoid Fear? )but sometimes we fight the same battles over and over again. But, now, I'm done fighting
 

Whether it's the fear of trying out something you want to do, and fear of failing in it or doing badly.. Or the fear of the Future. 

 But Fear is an just a feeling/ emotion, all you have to do is acknowledge it's there and then move forward anyway, learning from it along the way.  

 

Love

Jeff

Questions : Are you afraid of something right now? Does it help to know that you don't have to let it control you? Will you try this with me -- choosing not to be afraid, after acknowledging that the fear is not based on something Real?

 

    

 

13 Little Blue Envelopes

"13 Little Blue Envelopes" is the name of a book written by a certain Miss Maureen Johnson. The story is simple. The Protagonist (main character) is Virginia (Ginny for short) a 17 year old "regular" American Teenager-who has never done anything "out of the ordinary", with her life. She considers herself near painfully average - however all of this changes. She is left with a letter from an aunt containing a set of instructions - basically telling her to get packing  and first go to her aunt's place in New York. Upon reaching her destination she receives a package containing 13 Blue Envelopes- each containing a letter written by her Aunt Peg (Who happens to have died a while back)

[ Find a more detailed introduction here.]

Title: 13 Little Blue Envelopes

Author: Maureen Johnson

Publisher: Harper Collins

Genre: Young Adult (fiction)

 

 

I picked out this particular book, purely based on the cover alone- knowing nothing else, but it turned out to be a good choice after all.

 

Ginny is now instructed via letter from her Aunt Peg to travel and see the places that her Aunt Peg had travelled through and seen a while back, with nothing but a large backpack as a companion.

The wonderful thing about this book, (and the thing which keeps me reading it over and over again sometimes) is the ability of the author to transport us (the readers) into this new place, with them. Although it's second hand information, at some points I've felt that I was travelling (first-hand) with Ginny- feeling bored; with her, annoyed; with her, shocked at herself; with her, angry; with her, exhausted; with her, understanding humour; with her and exploring with her.

The pace is beautiful. The mysteries that begin to unfold- is there more to this journey than just giving Ginny one last chance to come out of her shell and live like a crazy person or not?

 

The story takes us through Europe and made me want to travel the world. The way Ginny does - a little randomly but with assistance.

 At the end of the book, I was starting to get a little disappointed before the last chapter, however the Last Chapter came to the rescue and the book proves to be whole on its own, but there's more.

6 years after the release of this book, Maureen Johnson has released it's sequel (The 13th little blue envelope) and I've been meaning to read it, if ever I get the opportunity to.

 

Unfortunately I haven't read any other books by Maureen Johnson - which I hope will change shortly.

 

Love

Jeff

Book review #3 A Little Princess ( written by Frances Hodgson Burnett)

Hey there : D

 

I thought it'd be fun to share one of my favourite stories. I first got to hear this story in the (adapted) form of an Anime/ Cartoon Series known as "Princess Sarah", a long time ago.

Princess Sarah - the Anime

 

About 4 years ago, I got to read the more original book version of "A little Princess" written by Frances Hodgson Burnett, and have read and reread the book quite a number of times. This book is quite the classic (with good reason) which is why the probability of you having read it or at least heard of it-is pretty high.

 

The story revolves around a wonderfully strange little 7 year old individual who goes by the name "Sara Crewe".

Sara Crewe's had never known her mother and is - brought up in India by a number of servants and workers who near worshipped her along with her very wealthy young father.
 

At 7, however, she's put into a boarding school run by Miss Minchin and her sister, "A select seminary for Young ladies", in London.

 Vastly imaginative, strong willed and polite young Sara is received well in the school both by the young girls and the adults partly because of her kind nature and partly because of her wealth. Sara, however does not let the wealth get to her head, and she is anything but "self-centred". (as illustrated when she calms down the wild sobs of 4 year old Lottie, who was motherless and used to getting attention because of it - and then lets Lottie adopt Sara as a "pretend mother" of sorts)

 

An abrupt letter from India, with the news of her father's passing on, however puts an end to the Royal Treatment she receives - especially from Miss Minchin.

 

 She is reduced to a drudge who lives in the attic, next to a certain little servant girl by the name of "Becky" whom she befriends.

Becky and Sara are bullied by the more senior staff of the Seminary - and the story goes on to show about how well Sara takes all the things that are dished out to her - like cruel words, cold and hungry nights, no more lessons or new clothes and daily labour. 

 

The story is about how, deep inside, Sara still believes she is a Princess and ought to have compassion for others just as a real Princess would, no matter what the circumstance.

 

 

 One of my favourite lines from the book is this one :

 

"I've noticed this. What you have to do with your mind, when your body is miserable, is to make it think of something else."

                                              - A little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett

 

How does the whole story tie up together in the end? I suggest you read the book to find out. Because it's an amazing story with an amazing end, and I could talk about it, but I can't give you the experience of

reading it and enjoying it, yourself.

Life sometimes is unfair, more harsh than you or I could comprehend. But when we receive the good times with open arms why are we so quick to assume that all is lost when we are given sour times? Although it feels sometimes like it's 'Game Over' we've got to remember that - we're still breathing and what's on the inside is more important than the outside. Hold on to who you really are no matter what, and don't let other people's labels define who you really are.

 A Little Princess is precisely about this. And so much more.

Because sooner or later things become alright again. It's not over, yet.

 

Everything's going to be OKAY.

 

Have you seen the movie/ series, read the book? Have you ever been with somebody who's gone through something life changing and yet stuck with it and found out that it was worth it? Is that somebody you? :D I would love to hear from you.  

Love
Jeffy




 

 

Powered off.

Hello there wonderful reader.

 

Today I thought I'd try out something different. I'm going to be using a prompt from the NaBloPoMo July 2013 Prompts page (this page)

 

Friday, July 12, 2013

How do you feel when you're unconnected to the Internet?

 

I think that as a normal human being, I've noticed-like millions of other fellow humans, that the internet is a wonderful space and it has a lot to offer.
Primarily because, people have a lot to offer --> and so people on the internet reach out to people all across the globe, and beautiful things happen because of this.

 

However I've also noticed that there is a downside to all of this.(just like there is a downside to people too) 

It begins when I get way too excited about certain aspects of it. Even websites like Youtube can be a bad thing if I have too much of it. I've lost myself to several websites, where I spend hours and hours online without control over myself.

I've wasted a lot of time too.
I've actually written about deleting my Facebook account, earlier, in this post- Life After Facebook.

 

 

Right now, being unconnected to the internet - might feel little strange at first, I must admit.
And from the way I had been craving to go on Facebook again a few days earlier, showed me that it might be harder to be disconnected over long periods of time.

 

But, honestly, I don't think it would matter too much to me. Because hey, I'd still be alive and well (probably) and there'd be real, live Human beings to talk to (again probably..)

And if there weren't any people around me, then I'd admire nature, I'd stare at the sky and the rain. I'd go to the beach and I'd always be connected to my Creator and Saviour.

I think that's the "Big secret" here. A lot of people who know me - know that I enjoy being by myself and doing things my own unique way and I know it appears like I'm a lonely person.

But, I know that God is always with me, so I don't actually feel alone, at all.

I'd miss not being connected to the world wide web, surely, but I'd still feel content.

 

So dearest reader, I'm going to now ask you the exact same thing : how do you feel (how do you suppose you'd feel) when you're unconnected to the internet?
 

P.s. It's been a while since I've actually been unconnected from the internet - however I have done it in the past and this is how I've felt in the recent past. But the future might be different..Thanks for reading :)
 

 P.p.s. I'm also grateful that my life is amazing right now because I can actually choose to remain online or be offline as I life, go outside and walk around when I like.. and it reminds me that I'm free to be myself. I'm not it prison, or affected with terminal illness at this moment. Thank God for everything I've been blessed with and thank God because of whom I'm free inside and out : ) :)

 Love Jeff

 

Poster #1 (God of the Universe Will Never Stop Loving Me!!)

Have you let this Truth sink into you, yet?

Love Jeff.
P.S. Editing done using http://pixlr.com

Without a word

Went to take a few pictures today, 'CAUSE IT'S BUTTERFLY SEASON!!

 

 

 

Sometimes you do not need words to understand.

You do not need words to DECLARE LOUD AND CLEAR..

 

 

 

 

Sometimes you do not need to yell to make a point.

Sometimes the best way to send across a message, is Without a Word.

 

 

I am learning to BEHOLD.

I am learning to take it in slowly.

I am learning to digest it fully.

I am learning to see and hear.

 

For the director of music. A psalm of David.

¹ The heavens declare the glory of God;
    the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
² Day after day they pour forth speech;
    night after night they reveal knowledge.
³ They have no speech, they use no words;
    no sound is heard from them.
⁴ Yet their voice^[b] goes out into all the earth,
    their words to the ends of the world.

Psalm 19 : 1 -4

 

I am learning to Enjoy my God in my everyday.

What about you ? :)

Love Jeff

 P.s. 

This post is awesome thanks to

God, a teacher who encouraged our class to open our eyes to the world, http://pixlr.com whose awesome picture editing software I've used, http://biblegateway.com and you - because if you weren't meant to read this, it wouldn't have purpose, now would it? :D Thanks again.

 

 

Book Review #2 - My Whole World Jumped (written by Jonathan Brant)

It's been a long long long long long long long time, since the last time I put up a book review - although reading books is something I enjoy quite a lot (and get oddly excited about :D)

So, I believe there are going to be a lot more of these here soon! (especially now since ... I've committed to NaBloPoMo July 2013)

My whole world jumped is a simple read, recommended to me by one of my closest friends (which is one of the best compliments a book can receive - a trustworthy recommendation.)

 The story revolves around a teen aged boy named Dave-who is quite simply caught up in his high school life, (like we all were/ are at some points of our lives). That one girl (or boy), scraping through tests, people you don't enjoy being with , fitting in (or not fitting in), popularity, tough parents etc. - an all too familiar story that I found to be quite relatable, although I felt that I have crossed this portion of my life.
High school was tough for me, and so it is with Dave - but as with everybody's lives, his has several ups and downs as well. He receives mysterious package one day and in it is a CD. The CD opens into a sort of "Interactive-animation-of-sorts" and a(n animated) guide, leads and animated version of himself through it.
Questions that have been unanswered burn in his mind, as he tries to figure out the person who saved him as a child - when he and his twin sister accidentally drowned in a water body. However he was rescued by - somebody whom his parents do not wish to speak about.
Somehow the identities of the person from this missing memory (which still haunts him in the form of nightmares) and the mysterious sender of the CD seem to be linked - and Dave tries to uncover these secrets.
The contents of the CD leads Dave into discovering much deeper Truths than those which he had set out looking for - the Truth that Jesus died for him.

Title : My Whole World Jumped
Author: Jonathan Brant
Genre: Juvenile fiction
 

The blurb at the back says :

As the tears ran down my cheeks it seemed to me that my ears popped and my whole world jumped, just a millionth of a millionth of a centimeter, then dropped back into place. Nothing had changed and yet absolutely everything seemed altered. Dave is a sixteen-year-old boy at Southerton Comprehensive. School is either hostile or boring and his parents are depressing, but there's always his best friend Charlie to cheer him up, and the beautiful Sophie to dream about. Then one morning, the arrival of a mysterious CD ROM seemingly created just for him, draws him back into his tragic past. Who is the sender? What is the truth of his past? Even the excitement of swimming success and unexpected progress with Sophie can't distract Dave from his overwhelming need to answer these questions. As he struggles to find the answers he is caught up in an even greater mystery: What exactly is the point of life? My Whole World Jumped is a novel that presents the Alpha course in a way that is relevant and digestible.

Love
Jeff

 

Dear 16 year old Self,

Since today is the 7th of July and this has nearly nothing to do with the topic of this blog post - let us proceed without further delay.

What I would say to my 16 year old self, (although I wouldn't change anything from then, because then I wouldn't be me of the present .. )

Dearest Girl



    
I'd like to start off by saying, I'm really sorry for the way I treated you back then.

You really ought to practise Loving yourself. I'm really proud of the way you lean on God for support.

Guess what, He's going to do some pretty amazing things in the future. He's going to break you and change you. He'll teach you to Trust in Him again, and your relationship with Him will grow intimate and it will be the very thing that you Live on.

 My dearest girl, don't be so hard on yourself... I know how brave you're trying to be everyday - sometimes it's okay to not try so hard. 

I know you're lonely now, but guess what - it'll make you stronger soon and you will see that you're never really alone.

 God is with you.

Stay true to yourself. Don't change yourself to be accepted by others. But of course, this is something you can only know if you actually loved yourself - which I sincerely wish you did.

     You don't know this yet, but there are some things that only you can do and there are a certain type of people that only you were meant to reach out to. Don't give up hope. 

Lastly don't make people your gods and always remain THANKFUL.

 

Love

Your 19 year old self                  

 

Anticipation [a rap song]

ANTICIPATION. (Uh huh Uh huh)
For the Holidays (YEAHH..)
Gonna make ma way (Oh yea)
Make ma way, through, oh!
Can't wait to see, no-oh!
(I smell pop corn) ; All the things are gonna happen
                                                             to me
(I smell pop corn)
Stick wit' me & you'll see it;
no, no, no, I won't speak rabbit
Gonna stop this scurryin' & hurryin'
And hopefully a little less of worryin'
*Hatchoo* (sneeze!)
- All the babies in the house go GOO, GOO!
(GOO, GOO! )
All the ladies in the house go GA GA!
(GA GA!) -
And now, I ,wait// 

(written back in 27/72011, during a period of semester exams - and right before the semester vacation.) (A friend of mine, upon reading my blog wished to know why I'd called it "Fun Ideas and Nonsensical Stuff - when none of my blog posts seemed to reflect back on the title. Perhaps "FINS" is starting to morph into something different now. But it always continues to be about things that I Love.)

Love
Jeff

For Better or For Worse.

 

Song : Beloved - Tenth Avenue North

 

We all have our top favourite songs. It could be the rhythm that drives us to listen to them, the music or the lyrics. But most of the time, it's a blend of many things (that I don't fully understand, myself). Sometimes it is something that is not so easily identifiable by everybody. I believe the Spirit behind certain songs are quite different from the usual. And undeniably, I think it's this part of the music that attracts me to the Song.

After all, Singing is the Expression of Feelings and Emotions.

When I FIRST listened to the song Beloved (and also the story behind it)

found over here :   

and here:

 

 

 

at that point, I was feeling a broken, ashamed of myself, soaking I the guilt that my actions resulted in and kind of ready to believe that  I wasn't worth anything. it was also after the time when I completely mistrusted God and ran away from Him.

So at that time , this song meant a lot to me.

Without God's Love in the centre of this song and the Holy Spirit inside of me, this song would be empty and mean nothing to me.

 

Would you dare to believe that God loves you? That He's Crazy about you and is willing to be patient with you no matter what you've done (in a way no person could do..)- and was Passionate enough to die for you to save you from yourself? And all He asks is that you Trust Him, which we cannot do if we do not love Him. And how can we Love Him if we don't know Him?

 

 

Love

Jeff

 

To Committments Made to be Kept *Clink!*

I have a confession to make.

Ok, 2, actually

Number one is that I am a painfully lazy person.
Number two commitments freak me out.

These "confessions" are not exactly huge - I know . Still - admitting that I have a problem is a start to solving it - is it not?

Here's where the people participating in the one I am participating in, unite : http://www.nablopomo.com

Now I'm going to be doing an amazing thing called "NaBloPoMo" (Who said all amazing things have to sound beautiful?) over the month of July 2013.
 It is a sort of writing exercise , where the blogger puts up a blog post every single day- for a month.
It's the 4th of July, and I've decided to jump in the bandwagon for the month of July 2013.

Commitments. Although I don't exactly love the prospect of putting myself out there, I'm sure it's going to worth it.

Sometimes the things I have to do is pretty simple.
Such as "Make a Blog post."
I over complicate things and worry. which I hope to stop doing.
Do you over complicate things and push away things you really want to do, sometimes too?

Well, what exactly is stopping you from doing them?

Love
 Jeff

 

A poem From the Past.

Someone hold me close

Someone hold me close and tight

 

To help get through this frightful night

 

Someone hold me in  your arms

 

And keep my hands tight in your palms

 

someone hold me close and hard

 

And keep me safe in  your guard

 

The night is long and painful

 

Hold me and I'll be thankful

 

Someone hold me close and tight...

 

For things just aren't right...

 

- Jeffy ( written on 25/6/2008)

This is a poem I wrote about 5 years ago. I read it now and I remember how crazy life is. Things have changed since then. Drastically. God really does hold us in His hands and lead and Love us like a Good Shepherd loves His sheep. He is my Shepherd.
He hears. He is true. Even when nothing else does or is.
Maybe more poetry on that  later.

Love
Jeff