LIFE

Hello there reader! :)
Sort of as a sequel to the last post here (Death) is this one.

Life is a lot of different things put together and in each season of Life it means something different.
Here's what my life has been about in this season(which I've tried to put in words in a letter I wrote to God a while back.)
Dear God,                                                                                                                      14/6/2013

(I've edited out the beginning of this letter to God) ...
    
        Primarily because I am not CRYSTAL CLEAR about the matter yet  ( like You said. ) but also because - Now's the time I'm really GROWING IN YOU. Now is Life filled with mistakes and lessons- where I learn how to do it with just You and me :). 'Cause that's my Purpose.
OH, YES, life's about my Purpose which is Following You and lifting other people up instead of putting them down. It's about You and me. Life's about my Passions which are extensions of myself. And about making a living to help other people ( financially, as well) some day. Life (right now)'s about developing hobbies like MUSIC that gives me a positive reach into my soul as well as others! Life's about writing things down, like it always had been.
Life right now is also about Finding Myself. In me and You. And because You found me first. Life's about Loving myself and loving others.
Life is about Discipline, Because I'm a warrior for You & because of You. I know I'm Lazy, but with You (and some Tough Hard Discipline) I know I change by Your Grace.

 Life's about You in me and me in You.

Life's about seeing another's heart first and outside's last (so so hard)

Life's about losing the things I once held close and GRABBING onto You.

Life's about loving the ones that hurt me and hating the things that plague my heart soul and mind like lust and self-hatred.

Life's about SEEING for the first time.
Life's about taking Leaps of faith  that have me feeling like I'm going to fall any minute (though I don't  cause You catch me and Calm Me Down, no matter what).
(Life's about regret when I don't take those leaps of faith) .
Life's about PRAISING through the madness
Singing through the tears and screaming Hallelujah even when it appears as if I have nothing, Because I have EVERYTHING I need because of You and the sacrifice of Your Son.



Life's about living under Your Mercy. Your Grace. Your abundant blessings. Your Love.
Life's about lighting other hearts with You.
Life's about falling after proud moments and being raised by the MASTER, after humble ones.

Life's about seeing that God's way is Good and my way is NONSENSE.

Life's about being the sheep
to Your shepherd.
 The King's Princess.
the Bride to Your Bridegroom.
the Church to Christ <3
the humble servant to Your Merciful Master.
the prodigal Son to Your Father.
Life's about waking up with a reason to LIVE!
Life's about breathing in and breathing out.
Life's ABOUT the SPIRIT helping me with EVERYTHING.
Life's about realizing that every moment of clear thought is a Gift from You.
Life's about being Grateful to YOU.
Life's about being Angry, Confused and sometimes Life's about crying out to You in the midst of Pain.
Life's about ANSWERS from You.
Life's about Promises from You.
Life's about Mysteries, because could I ever understand You?

Life's about realizing how small I am (and a person is in general) in comparison to You.

Life's about discovering that You Sense of Humour is Brilliant. Life's about admiring Your attention to detail...and about not grasping Everything about You and Wanting More of You!

Lord, I've been realizing that I'm sort of like a parasite (although I don't like to picture myself as one- not a pretty sight, sorry) I've been attaching myself onto people and things and dreams and...things of this world. And they weren't able to fill me up.
because, well, because- they're the wrong HOSTS.

You're the right HOST to my Parasite!!
When I read the part in the Bible, where Jesus says "Eat me" it brought me to tears and when you say "Drink of me, I am the Living Water and those who drink me will NEVER thirst" I realize You've put a fountain of living water in me! Thanks to the Holy Spirit in me, it make sense and in Francis Chan's message (About Idolizing?)where in He explained how You look down at me (and other people) and are just broken and confused as to why I would leave YOU (Fountain of Living Water) and chase a broken cistern . instead (say a person..). For I have exchanged a creation in the place of a Creator.
A Blessing can never fill me up.
But You can and have. Help me never forget that .
Love
Your little girl
Jeffy.
--

It's been a while since I slowed down, the way I had whilst writing the above letter, and analysed exactly what my life is about; What my "Feelings" are in general, and where I'm heading. This is the sort of stuff I write down in my letters to God (and in my 'journal' before I began writing letters to God), it puts things in good perspective and then it sort of stays that way so I can re-read it later and remember what I was made for.
Which is a good thing.

What is your life about right now?
If you could .. what would you change for the better? why?

Love
Jeffy

Death

Hey there,

Death- is something that will probably happen to us one day.
Perhaps within the next minute, next decade or the next 100 years. We're all quickly become familiar with it as we grow up because it's a part of our lives.
Death scared me sometimes.

There have been times when I've realized that I was living (with a beating heart and a respiratory system which makes sure that mostly Oxygen containing air goes into my system and Carbon dioxide rich air comes out of it), but not really with purpose.

When there are so many people whose lives end abruptly or after a long battle against cancer - who die without even getting the chance to have the choices that we-who are alive and well right now have - why must we not dwell on all the perks we have??

Purpose - is the reason for 'why' I lived the way I did or still do sometimes.
Why would anyone live everyday searching for ways to do everything they think of doing on my To-Do-List, or 50 things to do before I die List. There ain't nothing wrong with To-Do Lists and Bucket Lists, but perhaps I needn't have let them get so important to me
  - because , after getting the thing I want , I often don't want it any more.
But the thing is, I've discovered my purpose -- The reason for my existence- the thing that would have made my 17 yr old pre-purpose-discovering self wide-eyed with surprise because it was the one thing I'd wanted to figure out the most.


Are there others out there? Haha, I'm kidding , that's not the point of this post!!
Real Caption: Could there be a reason for my existence??

I've lost myself and found myself. 

But there's a catch here that I didn't know about then,
 Dear Jeffy of 17 years old : Finding your purpose doesn't mean you won't forget it in the future. It doesn't mean that you are immune to distractions. Discovering what your purpose is, is just the beginning. It's a milestone crossed-yes, but it means nothing if you don't hold on to it with all you've got until the very end.
     The initial shine sometimes appears to wear off - but that's not because your object of interest is growing dimmer, it's 'cause you're looking away. Keep your eyes fixed on the only Light that will lead you home sweetheart, but remember you can't do it alone.. but you've got all the help you'll ever need, so be humble enough to ask!

Death also signifies or underlines our limited nature. Our limited nature to understand what exactly is going on before and after our own time period on Earth - and most of the rest of our Universe otherwise.

Our life on earth ends.
And in this one life we have, I could either give it everything I've got  - all my heart, strength, mind and spirit or I could choose to let my interests be divided, and not hold what I know is truly important close to me with My Life.
And along the way there are going to be people who will not completely understand why I do the things I do...or I might forget my purpose and go astray.
 But what if, at the end of life it isn’t going to be between us and them or even myself and me - and what if we are going to be held responsible for why we've done the things we've done.


Choosing to give it all I have to fulfilling my purpose some how-lifts the fear that I've had of Death.
What if, I wonder, I choose to not do it - I know I'd regret it more, because my Purpose gives me Life, Joy and Strength, but not giving it all I have-is like Living Asleep-or Dead.
Love
Jeff
P.S. I'd love to read about your thoughts!

Heidi

The Alps - I never would've heard about The Alps if it hadn't been for the story of Heidi. Once again  I read the book "Heidi" by Johanna Spyri a short while back - but grew up watching the animated TV show(the first time being with "A Little Princess" ).

Heidi
Children's book/ Classic
 

     Heidi begins as a story of a 5-year-old young girl, who has been under the care of her aunt Dete who now wishes to put her in the care of the girl's grandfather- so that she can take up a job elsewhere. The Grandfather of interest however lives up a mountain slope-in the Swiss Alps, away from most of his closest neighbours- who live below in the town. He's got a bad reputation- how much of it is true, we aren't told- but for good reason, as it isn't really that important for the main story of Heidi. Despite all of this Heidi is dropped off at the unsuspecting grandfather's house and Dete leaves immediately-lest she be forced to take the girl back with her.
On the long walk to her grandfather's house, Heidi meets Peter who is a goatherd close to her age.
   The story goes on to show us how Heidi (not merely "copes with" but) enjoys life up in the mountain- where she is well taken of by her Grandfather (whose goats she comes to adore), Peter, Peter's mother and Peter's grandmother.
 


 

Heidi with Snowflake
 

The story is Light, refreshing as is Heidi's strong willed nature. We learn as she learns about life. However, a twist in the tale develops when Heidi is whisked away by aunt Dete to Frankfurt where she is made to be a companion to a rich and slightly older girl named Clara - an invalid (not completely physically fit).
Heidi's adventures continue in Frankfurt, however she misses Grandfather, the trees and the animals (that her home in the Alps had plenty of) and begins to grow sick of the tall buildings.
She can't bring herself to say anything about her home-sickness to anybody though, lest she be perceived as an ungrateful little girl - as mentioned by Rottenmeyer (the care taker at Clara's house, as her mother has passed away). Heidi somehow confides her innermost feelings to Clara's grandmother who is an bright woman who notices Heidi's sad stature.

The rest of the story goes on to talk about Heidi's journey back, followed by Clara's visit to the Alps and surprising events that follow.
 The story has been a genuine blessing in my life, although when I was a child I used to wonder if Heidi were not "too perfect" a person. But that was just my baseless envy talking, and now that I've read the book I would definitely recommend to anyone with time and patience.

 Sometimes we underestimate the simple things - and then later regret it. Are we dwelling on the perks of all the things Right Now has to offer us?? :) and if yes are we continuing to be grateful for it and trusting that God who Loves us will somehow take care of the outcome of situations? If not what is stopping us?

 

Depression

Why does life have to be so unpleasant sometimes?

Sometimes things gets deeply depressing and other times it just gets plain unpleasant.

Sometimes absolutely nothing makes sense. Everything is out of synch and everything slips out of place.

It nearly never makes sense.

 

Ronan : Taylor Swift  

 

Vanilla Twilight: Owl City

 

 

Blessings - Laura Story

 

 

BarlowGirl - I Need You to Love me

 

 Each of the songs above have stuck a chord in me some where - and somehow I can relate to them. Each of them have touched me in and sort of explain some of my low times.

But somehow - God's been my rescuer every one of "those low times"  -
and the Worst times have brought out the Best in me. 

I don't deserve all the good things that my life has become about and I still don't get it.

 

After every dark turn God has brought me closer to Himself and Closer to who I really am.

And I get the feeling that He knows exactly what's going on and as long as I'm with Him- it'll turn out alright. ;]

 

Love

 Jeffy
P.S. There is a story behind the song "Ronan". Ronan's mother (who writes in this blog : http://rockstarronan.com/) co-wrote the song with Taylor Swift and the song went on to raise awareness and money for Cancer research.

 

Thank You

Ohoy reader! :D

This post is dedicated to a friend who goes by the name Deepika.

  You've been the push that God used that I needed - when I completely stopped - concerning both this blog and Life in general.

 Thank God for you, 'cause you've been there for me, whether you know it or not, when I gave up - and I'm grateful for all of the time we've gotten together and continue to be blessed with :)

Love
Jeff
 

Love.

Hello ! :)

 

Over a year back I wrote a simple post called : Love? and the funny thing is- from when the post was written- up until now - it continues to remain the single most-read post in this blog.

 I've wondered why that is-but it's pretty clear why actually.

 

I've realized over time, that we as 'human beings' - we were pretty much made for this single purpose - to Love.

 

I take absolutely no credits for this fabulous picture!

 

Love is a choice. Whether we choose to love or not (a difficult choice to some, including me) is what it boils down to.

Pain, hurt, the past are all excuses we use to build a wall around us. This wall protects us from further hurt & pain - but it also prevents us from experiencing any Light.

This lesson is a hard pill to swallow, 'cause Love Hurts.

It's hard and

it appears insane.

But

even though love hurts - it's better to love, hurt and lose than to never love at all.

Needing somebody is not always a pleasant position to be in - but we're often there and there's no need to be ashamed about it ( because so is everybody else! )

I've been in a place where I've blocked out people from myself because I don't want to get hurt .. and so have you (possibly).

 

Although initially I felt this place to be comfortable and away from all the hurt- eventually I understood that I'm not going any place good from that place.

But in that place I learnt that Loving myself first is important for people like me and then I saw that no matter who hurts me(for whatever reason) I'll always have and love me!  

 

 

 

Loving somebody(after you love yourself first) is to be vulnerable.

Loving somebody involves swallowing our pride and not holding onto false humility - but to actually be humble enough to give yourself to somebody.
I've confused "Loving" with "Idolizing" in the past - and this is when we overdo it, by near worshipping somebody.

Worshipping a person is not equivalent to loving them. 

Loving yourself first will better enable you to simply love somebody - including their flaws and uglies, because you've done that to you too.. instead of blindly assuming that a person is faultless and hence needs to worshipped all the time.
That is never what a person needs.

 

At one point of time, not too long ago,

I tried to hide my pain, my weakness, my shame, my fears, my insecurities, my idols and all of the ugliest parts of who I am- however, these things are temporary.

You can't hold on to these things forever without allowing them to change who you really are-into someone ugly.

But if you let them go by choosing to be open about them (to people you trust) and give yourself a chance to discover that there's more to life - there is a high chance that you'll find exactly what you've been needing to find.

 

 

I'd be thrilled to know more about what your views are.

 

Love

 Jeff

 

 

 

 

My Life Story. C.

Hello there,

I've been having tests at college for the past 5 days, so I chose to put NaBloPoMo on pause for a while (the last test is on Monday)
It's a little late, but here's the third part to the four part series of "My Life Story" which I've been putting up here.
[ Here's Part 1 and Part 2 ]

                                                                                ..

 

..And Suddenly I was going to the camp with a lot of girls in a van with my teacher.
We reached the site earlier than the J team , or anybody else and sat under the moonlight on the sand, outside the camp site and talked. I remembering feeling very much at peace with everything - which was new to me.
The members of J team came in, and the camp began with a singing session inside. I felt comforted by God's presence somehow, for I now recognized that Voice inside my head as God's and I sighed a happy sigh and said to God that I was ready for life with just Him and me. 

  

For some reason – I soon became sort of uncomfortable in my own skin. Later that night, one of the camp counsellors spoke with me privately and asked me,"So, I hear you don't have a mother at home.. How does that feel?"
I welled up immediately, but the tears didn’t fall, and didn't say a word. I was 17 then, but some things feel the same no matter how much you age.
She asked me how my relationship with God was. I replied with a shrug.
She smiled and asked me how my relationship with ‘Sa’ was,
"Good!" I replied with a broad smile.
"Good! right?" she mirrored me and then said - that my relationship with God could be the same. But the only thing  that blocked me from a relationship with Him, were my own sins. I just listened, nodded and don't remember saying a single word.
Somebody interrupted us, and I quietly walked back to the "Session" at camp that was going on currently.
As I walked into the room with wide eyes . I heard the words "Will you please stop Hating Yourself?"
I held back the tears as I opened the door to where all the other kids(campers) were and the Voice said "Look around and tell me : Do you see anybody else here who hates themselves?"
I turned and realized that I was surrounded by a bunch of lightly laughing, confident people.
"no."
I replied quietly.
After a deep and Loving conversation with God, I came to see that I needed to stop hating myself and not just that - but to start loving myself as well.

The Impact was huge.

 

Inside of me any way, and maybe nobody else noticed, but ever since then I've begun feeling super comfortable in my own skin.

In the months that followed-I knew what I believed in by then, but I wasn't very strong in it. And even now I continue to struggle to hold on to what I believe in, sometimes.
Although I’d love to hide this part,  I believe it’s time to come clean. Without getting too much into the details, all I can say here is that I got close to somebody.

I used to believe that idols/ false gods were just statues that people worshipped. But I’ve gotten to see that our truest idols are simply anything or anybody – money, fame, another person etc. – that we love with all of us,  in the place of God.

I’ve come to see that any obsession/ addiction can become my "idol".

I hurt myself and I hurt others who meant well for me and there’s no point in hiding that.

 

At that time of idolizing this one person, I struggled to remember why I liked God so much, or why I wanted to go to Heaven.

I vaguely remembered something about longing to be with HIM (God), more than anything else - but it didn't seem relevant any more.

I ignored Him, and thought something along the lines of "I don't remember why I wanted God more than anything else. My life is obviously better without Him." Ohh, how wrong I was..

Those were pretty dark days for me, I couldn’t even think straight. I remembered how my life was before and wished I could have that back. But I'd been blinded by the lies that I believed in.

    God didn't give up on me though.
College was now reopening for my second year, and once againGod found me.

He revealed to me that the reason Christ died on the Cross was because of my sins, and because He loved me, and would I Please accept His Grace again?
This seemed unreal.

Who would want to take back somebody who rejected you? Who would want to cherish something that wasn't worth it?
And that would be my God. 

 

..
 

Heyo, you've successfully reached the end of the Third part out of the Four! :)

Although I could really relate to 'Warrior' by Demi Lovato (the video above), this is a song that I've been also relating to a lot (it's called 'Safe' by Britt Nicole) :
         

 

 Love
 Jeff